Pub Life: Do Barmaids Dream of Electric Sheep?

The dark windows of a pub.

A conversation between two members of pub staff, overheard as they pulled our pints, and prompted by the insistent ringing of the phone.

#1
I hear that sound in my head when I’m at home trying to get to sleep sometimes.

#2
Ha, same! And after a busy weekend I have nightmares about managing queues and people making complicated orders.

#1
Me too! And have you heard [colleague]’s thing?

#2
No, what’s that?

#1
She wakes her partner up in the middle of the night shouting out loud, ‘Who’s next then, please?’ Three or four times in one night she’s done it.

4 thoughts on “Pub Life: Do Barmaids Dream of Electric Sheep?”

  1. Any bartender who regularly asks “Who’s next?” is doing a lousy job and deserves all the nightmares they get – obviously the nagging of a guilty conscience. I feel for her partner, mind you.

    1. “Who’s next?” is one of those phrases that shouldn’t always be taken literally – it’s like if a British person asks “How are you?” they aren’t expecting a detailed description of your dodgy hip.

      “Who’s next?” can equally mean “I know damn well that you’re next you dopey barsteward, that’s why I addressed it to you because I’ve already asked you directly what are you having but since you didn’t respond I used a phrase that is more likely to get a Pavlovian response among even the doziest punter. Ignore me this time and I’m moving on to someone who is awake and ready to place an order”

      There’s many more lousy customers than lousy bar staff….

      1. I don’t disagree about lousy customers but there are better ways to manage them than using that phrase. It’s rude, and there’s no need to use it. If I heard one of my staff saying ‘who’s next?’ then i’d to a bit of training with them.

  2. Trust me, pretty much everyone that takes working in pubs seriously has these dreams – when I hear this sort of conversation, my thoughts are that person is properly invested in the job, and I need to do my damnedest to keep them.

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