I think you’ll find…

When keen, knowl­edge­able bar staff cross the line and start cor­rect­ing peo­ple, this is what hap­pens.

INTERIOR, LONDON REAL ALE PUB, DAY.

An inno­cent look­ing PUNTER approach­es the bar and peers over at the fridges where the bot­tled beers are stored. After a few moments a beard­ed semi-goth BARMAN (resem­bling Dawn of the Dead make-up artist and actor TOM SAVINI) approach­es. Through­out the fol­low­ing, he does not blink.

BARMAN

Are you wait­ing?

PUNTER

Ah, yes. Erm… a cou­ple of weeks ago I came in and you had Wei­hen­stephan Old Bavar­i­an or Old Munich or…

An un-Earth­ly gleam comes into the BAR­MAN’s eye. He inter­rupts.

BARMAN (glee­ful but blunt)

Ah! Now, I think you’ll find you’re con­fus­ing two com­plete­ly dif­fer­ent beers, name­ly the Erdinger Dunkel­weiss and the Augustin­er Edel­stoff. We’ve nev­er had the Wei­hen­stephaner dunkel weiss.

PUNTER

Well, I’m not sure I am con­fused. It was def­i­nite­ly by Wei­hen­stephan. It had a sort of brown­ish red label. And it was a dark lager, rather than a dark wheat beer…

BARMAN (abrupt­ly)

There is no such beer! We’re out of all of our dunkel weiss­es, includ­ing the Wehe­in­stephaner.

There is an awk­ward silence. The BARMAN switch­es into lec­ture mode.

Per­haps you’d like some­thing called Rrrrraush­bier? It’s smoky tast­ing because the pro­duc­ers use…

PUNTER

It’s fine, thanks. I think I’ll go.

The bewil­dered PUNTER leaves shak­ing his head.

The moral of this sto­ry? Try not to use the phrase “I think you’ll find…” at the start of a sen­tence. Exact­ly like the words “I’m not racist but…”, it will mark you out as a buf­foon.

8 thoughts on “I think you’ll find…”

  1. In a bar I’m actu­al­ly very fond of I recent­ly encoun­tered some­thing sim­i­lar. We ordered a beer that was about 0.1% less in terms of ABV than what we’d had before. He was absolute­ly insis­tent that we MUST go up in strength, and that head­ing south – even by a frac­tion of a per­cent – would spell doom. It took ages to con­vince him, and even when we did he left shak­ing his head.

  2. The, now retired, land­lord of my local used to ask cus­tomers who bought lager. “Do you want a rusk with that?” Fun­ny but maybe not appre­ci­at­ed by the cus­tomer, maybe Wych­wood could use it in their next cam­paign.

    I think we all would prfer bar staff who did­n’t bul­ly their cus­tomers even if it is well meant.

  3. Sad cas­es as those are com­mon in every cor­ner of the world.
    There’s a Ger­man style pub in my local town where the land­lord is always boast­ing about his 20 years as a pro­fes­sion­al, espe­cial­ly when defend­ing his points in an dis­cus­sion on beer. His posi­tion when you don’t think as he does is always that of complacency,looking down on you a bit.

    We usu­al­ly drink the fan­tas­tic Aventi­nus at this bar .The oth­er day we ordered a round and he served us Wein­stephan dun­kles weizen claim­ing it was the same type of beer and open them up as quick­ly as he could. I refuse mine try­ing to explain the dif­fer­ence in style. He tried to con­vinced me but I stick on my guns ‚changed on a pint of Ein­beck­er shak­ing my head and promis­ing not to come back( at least for a while hehe­he­he, unfor­tu­nate­ly it’s the only hole in town serv­ing Ein­beck­er and John bull on tap and a wide range of Saint Peter’s
    in bot­tle )

  4. Cus­tomer ser­vice is some­thing still sad­ly lack­ing in this coun­try. When I use the word ‘ser­vice’ I include that to mean hav­ing some respect for basi­cal­ly those that pay the wages. Respect should always be mutu­al though.

    I always think that any­one that says “I’m not racist but…”, should always fol­low it with “us fas­cists are lying bas­tards”.

  5. Cus­tomer ser­vice is some­thing still sad­ly lack­ing in this coun­try.

    It’s not so great here in the US either. I’m not just talk­ing about pubs unfor­tu­nate­ly. A gen­er­al lack of respect for the cus­tomer seems to be mak­ing its way around the globe. It’s a real pet peeve of mine. A friend and I con­sid­ered start­ing a web­site detail­ing neg­a­tive cus­tomer ser­vice expe­ri­ences we’ve had in the Hous­ton, TX area. We’d include pos­i­tive expe­ri­ences too, but unfor­tu­nate­ly that would be the small­er sec­tion of the site.

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