Schrödinger’s Beer (non) Review: Cloudwater DIPA V3

Cloudwater DIPA V3 -- collage of images.

There are some beers about which it is practically impossible to express an opinion and be believed, one way or the other.

They’re so talked-about, so antic­i­pat­ed, so ven­er­at­ed, or so despised, that noth­ing we say can add much to the con­ver­sa­tion.

The West­vleteren beers from Bel­gium are one exam­ple, Batham’s Best Bit­ter might be anoth­er. But they’re fixed points in the fir­ma­ment; oth­ers blink into exis­tence and gen­er­ate great heat, per­haps only for a few months or years.

The word we’re avoid­ing here is hype, per­haps because it gets thrown around too eas­i­ly – peo­ple talk­ing with enthu­si­asm about a thing you’re not inter­est­ed in isn’t hype. It might be jus­ti­fi­able in this case, though, which has seen online beer stores issu­ing would-be-pan­ic-induc­ing Tweets in antic­i­pa­tion of a con­sumer fren­zy, and launch events. (It is still in stock in many places, by the way.)

"Schrödinger's Cat" by the No Matter Project.
Schrödinger’s Cat” by ‘No Mat­ter’ via Flickr under a Cre­ative Com­mons licence.

If we say that we were any­thing less than wowed by ver­sion 3 of Man­ches­ter Cloud­wa­ter’s Dou­ble IPA, we’re sure­ly just invert­ed band­wag­on jumpers, con­trar­i­ans and grumps. We’re fight­ing the hype and thus still fail­ing to judge the beer on its own mer­its. We’re those peo­ple who say with a flour­ish that they don’t like The Bea­t­les and make you think, ‘Real­ly? Even “It Won’t Be Long”?’ If we say we did­n’t espe­cial­ly like this beer not every­one will believe us or will ques­tion our motives.

But what hap­pens if we rave about it? If we list this fruit and that. If we say it is like noth­ing else we’ve ever tast­ed and that it blows sim­i­lar beers from oth­er equal­ly hip brew­eries out of the water, that it finds a tru­ly dis­tinc­tive flavour pro­file in a mar­ket already crowd­ed with IPAs, that it made us swoon?

Then we’ll be sheep, syco­phants, mind­less zom­bie fans.

So, we’re just going to leave the box here, unopened.

10 thoughts on “Schrödinger’s Beer (non) Review: Cloudwater DIPA V3

  1. well I thought 1 and 2 were very good, might pick up a 3 when next in Exeter, nev­er heard of the cat thing though, pre­sume it’s like Occam’s Razor?

  2. I am remind­ed of the words of Mess­r’s Chuck D & Flavour Flav.
    Some­thing about hyper­bole.

    If youre thirsty enough, any beers per­fect, even my own home­brew.

  3. I do think it is an excel­lent beer, but a word on the hype – the shop I nor­mal­ly pur­chase Cloud­wa­ter beers from did­n’t get in V3. His rea­son was that he was required to put his name down to reserve V3 upon pur­chas­ing V2 some months ear­li­er, some­thing he con­sid­ered mad­ness, so did­n’t both­er. No doubt demand was high but still…

  4. And yet some­thing so ‘hyped’ still costs less than a fiv­er. (Well I got mine for 4 quid actu­al­ly. And I just hap­pened to notice it at the shop I go to I think a cou­ple of weeks after it was released). We don’t seem to be at any­thing like the amer­i­can lev­el of tick­et­ed release events and so on.

  5. The release of Born to Die 14.05.2016 (Brew­dog) appeared pos­i­tive­ly low key com­pared to the build/hype launch of this beer. I can’t com­ment on the Cloud­wa­ter v3 but the Born to Die was real­ly good. Great clar­i­ty too – very lit­tle haze or murk (depend­ing on your view­point). The Born to Die apart, I kind of gave up on this sort of thing a while ago as a result of the hyper­bole around the release of beers like Un-Human Can­non­ball and Bloody ‘Ell.

  6. How does it blend with Orval, though?

    (Actu­al­ly pret­ty well, I’d imag­ine… Orval + Jaipur X was great.)

  7. I can’t com­ment on how it tastes com­pared to v2 but thought it was a step up to v1. Loads of man­go and cit­rus but not near­ly as bit­ter as I was expect­ing. It does­n’t taste near­ly as boozy as the 9% sug­gests and is pret­ty drink­able as a result. Cer­tain­ly does­n’t have the boozy edge of say a Jaipur X. One of the best DIPA’s I’ve had.

    Thank­ful­ly the hype does­n’t seem to have made it down to South East Lon­don as I man­aged to get a half on keg for £4 and a bot­tle for under a fiv­er. It was far more expen­sive when I saw it in Man­ches­ter last week­end!

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