100 Words: The Global Republic of Craftonia

Adapted from a Soviet propaganda poster: a man waving a banner.

The citizens of Craftonia, from Singapore to Stockholm, stand together in uniform opposition to homogeneity.

It is a land where the light comes from fil­a­ment bulbs.

Edison Bulbs at the HubBox, Truro.

Where beer taps are on the back wall, brick is bare and wood is stripped.

Keg taps.

Crafton­ian cui­sine is ‘dirty’, but not real­ly, and it is usu­al­ly a burg­er.

Bundobust window, Leeds.

There are no plain walls there: every sur­face has a car­i­ca­ture of a bar­man, a beer list, or a brief man­i­festo.

Beer list at the Beer Cellars, Exeter.

All the beers are IPAs, except the ones that are sour.

BrewDog IPAs c.2009 (old labels).

There are many brew­eries in Crafto­nia but most of them are Stone, Brew­Dog and Mikkeller.

We wrote this last autumn but decid­ed against post­ing it, though we did include a ver­sion of it in our email newslet­ter (sign up here). We were moved to revive it by this post from Tan­dle­man.

7 thoughts on “100 Words: The Global Republic of Craftonia”

  1. Though they gen­er­al­ly take kind­ly to tourists, I’ve found the inhab­i­tants of Crafto­nia can be quite insu­lar, even jin­go­is­tic. Most of the pop­u­la­tion are immi­grants, yet many nev­er trav­el out­side.

  2. Sure, if that’s your kind of bag. The craft beer bar look is still suf­fi­cient­ly unusu­al and mod­ern that it still offers some­thing a bit dif­fer­ent to your aver­age punter. Even though they’re increas­ing­ly com­mon, your aver­age town prob­a­bly still only has 2 or 3 tar­get­ed craft beer bars.

    How­ev­er, I do 90% of my craft beer drink­ing in nor­mal pubs. Same beer, cheap­er prices.

    When I do go into craft beer bars, its most­ly just nor­mal cou­ples or groups of 25–40yo blokes on a night out who don’t nec­es­sar­i­ly want to drink 2–4-1 shots in Yates Wine Lodge with all the teenagers and see £3.50 for a half of some­thing tasty as bet­ter val­ue than £3.50 for a bot­tle of Bud­weis­er in the bar next door. Don’t see many beards or [insert tired stereo­type here].

  3. Mean­while 99.9% of the rest of the beer-drink­ing pop­u­la­tion just go for a pint in their local booz­er.

    1. Just so hap­pens that that pint is increas­ing­ly like­ly to be a craft beer.

    2. Cheers for the insight, Syd, I didn’t real­ize that peo­ple weren’t allowed to blog about minor­i­ty inter­ests. Maybe from now on all beer blog­gers should just write about Car­ling since so much more of it gets drunk in the UK than any of this weirdo real ale non­sense?

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