Pub Life: Do Barmaids Dream of Electric Sheep?

The dark windows of a pub.

A con­ver­sa­tion between two mem­bers of pub staff, over­heard as they pulled our pints, and prompt­ed by the insis­tent ring­ing of the phone.

#1
I hear that sound in my head when I’m at home try­ing to get to sleep some­times.

#2
Ha, same! And after a busy week­end I have night­mares about man­ag­ing queues and peo­ple mak­ing com­pli­cat­ed orders.

#1
Me too! And have you heard [colleague]‘s thing?

#2
No, what’s that?

#1
She wakes her part­ner up in the mid­dle of the night shout­ing out loud, ‘Who’s next then, please?’ Three or four times in one night she’s done it.

5 thoughts on “Pub Life: Do Barmaids Dream of Electric Sheep?”

  1. Any bar­tender who reg­u­lar­ly asks “Who’s next?” is doing a lousy job and deserves all the night­mares they get – obvi­ous­ly the nag­ging of a guilty con­science. I feel for her part­ner, mind you.

    1. Who’s next?” is one of those phras­es that should­n’t always be tak­en lit­er­al­ly – it’s like if a British per­son asks “How are you?” they aren’t expect­ing a detailed descrip­tion of your dodgy hip.

      Who’s next?” can equal­ly mean “I know damn well that you’re next you dopey barstew­ard, that’s why I addressed it to you because I’ve already asked you direct­ly what are you hav­ing but since you did­n’t respond I used a phrase that is more like­ly to get a Pavlov­ian response among even the dozi­est punter. Ignore me this time and I’m mov­ing on to some­one who is awake and ready to place an order”

      There’s many more lousy cus­tomers than lousy bar staff.…

      1. I don’t dis­agree about lousy cus­tomers but there are bet­ter ways to man­age them than using that phrase. It’s rude, and there’s no need to use it. If I heard one of my staff say­ing ‘who’s next?’ then i’d to a bit of train­ing with them.

  2. Trust me, pret­ty much every­one that takes work­ing in pubs seri­ous­ly has these dreams – when I hear this sort of con­ver­sa­tion, my thoughts are that per­son is prop­er­ly invest­ed in the job, and I need to do my damnedest to keep them.

Comments are closed.