Pub Life: Cat People

Illustration: Cat T-Shirt

Smokers’ corner on the pub terrace, by the back door to the toilets.

She is smok­ing, sip­ping from a pint of lager, and look­ing at her phone. He approach­es, nods, places his own pint of lager on anoth­er wob­bly old table, and lights a cig­a­rette.

She stares intent­ly, clears her throat, and says: “Not being rude… What’s that on your T-shirt?”

He sits upright and stretch­es the fab­ric away from his gut to dis­play the graph­ic.

That’s Princess.”

She’s yours, is she? Aw, she’s love­ly.”

Yeah. Love of my life I always say. Expect­ing kit­tens, as it goes.”

The woman freezes with her beer half way to her mouth and pan­tomimes aston­ish­ment.

Real­ly? REALLY? You won’t believe this but I’ve lit­er­al­ly been look­ing to get a new cat. I’ve always had cats, ever since I was a lit­tle girl, but I couldn’t have one in my last place. Now I just want loads.”

Well, Princess is white with black patch­es and the one we think is the father–” He rolls his eyes. “–is black with white. So the kittens’ll be one way or the oth­er.”

How much, then? If I want­ed two, say?”

Hang on, hold on…” He pulls out his phone, fid­dles with the screen, and then holds it for her to see. “Add me on FB and we’ll sort it out lat­er, alright?”


They both go back to smok­ing, in silence, and star­ing at their phones, those two cat peo­ple, bask­ing in the sun.

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