A Tale of Three Pours

Mur­al at the Poech­enellekelder, Brus­sels.

There’s a certain ceremony to the way beer is poured in Belgium, except when there isn’t, and no two waiters have quite the same technique.

At the leg­endary Poech­enellekelder in cen­tral Brus­sels, oppo­site the stat­ue of the wee boy, we watched a clown­ish­ly expres­sive wait­er turn the pour­ing of a beer into per­for­ma­tive pro­fes­sion­al­ism.

He popped the cap with a flour­ish, almost seem­ing to pause for applause, angled the glass, and began to pour slow­ly.

Assess­ing the devel­op­ment of the head, he frowned and gave the bot­tle a sud­den jerk 30 cen­time­tres into the air, for just the briefest moment, caus­ing the foam to surge, but not much.

When he put the beer down on the table, smooth white sat half a cen­time­tre above the rim of the glass, as sol­id as a mac­aron, and there wasn’t a speck of yeast in the body of the beer.

The Worrier

Sit­ting out­side a cafe that seems to be called Primus Haacht with por­tions of blis­tered, gild­ed frites from Mai­son Antoine, we saw a Bel­gian wait­er get it wrong. He poured West­malle Tripel too vig­or­ous­ly and sighed with dis­may as it flowed over his hand like milk, splat­ter­ing on to the paving stones.

It’s fine, we don’t mind.”

No, no, it’s not accept­able… I’m gonna change it. I have to change it. Please, I’m sor­ry, wait here.”

The sec­ond attempt was over-cau­tious and, sure, we end­ed up with more beer in the glass, but it didn’t look any­where near as good.

The Casual

At Beers Banks, our local on Rue Général Leman, we mar­velled at burly, effi­cient bar­men who treat­ed Trap­pist beers and alco­hol free pil­sner with about the same lev­el of respect.

They upend­ed bot­tles and flung the con­tents out as if they were emp­ty­ing tins of toma­toes into cook­ing pots, glanc­ing over their shoul­ders and talk­ing, slam­ming glass­es down on the bar to save sec­onds here and there.

But do you know what? Some­how every pour was PR pho­to­shoot per­fect.

Leffe – the new Gold Label?

Half pint beer glasses and a bottle of Leffe.

We’ve had another beer mixing breakthrough: Leffe Blonde mixed with cask bitter does wonderful things.

This idea came to us as we strug­gled through two mis­er­ably but­tery halves of Bath Ales Gem at one of the stops on our #Every­Pu­bIn­Bris­tol mis­sion.

On the table next to us two French speak­ers were hav­ing ani­mat­ed busi­ness dis­cus­sion over a lap­top while swig­ging bot­tles of Leffe, one of a hand­ful of a big brand beers on offer in the fridges behind the bar.

We fired thoughts back and forth in quick suc­ces­sion:

Maybe we should ditch these and split a bot­tle of Leffe.”

Huh. It’s fun­ny how you can’t get a bot­tle of Gold Label bar­ley wine in the pub these days but you can get Leffe.”

Hmm. They’re quite sim­i­lar beers, real­ly – strong, gold­en, fruity…”

Are you think­ing…?”

It can’t hurt to try.”

The bot­tle cost about £4.50 and we end­ed up with about a 50–50 mix each. It imme­di­ate­ly looked appeal­ing – fluffy head, amber hue – and gave off the famil­iar Leffe banana aro­ma.

One sip was enough, we knew it had worked.

Leffe is too sweet and syrupy for us these days, but like this, the cask ale light­ened the body and added bit­ter­ness.

The ale, which had seemed life­less and dom­i­nat­ed by one off-flavour, was revived.

Did it remind us of some­thing like Palm Spe­ciale? Maybe.

Leffe isn’t a per­fect sub­sti­tute for Gold Label because, though Bel­gian beer afi­ciona­dos might not rate it, it does have a dis­tinct Bel­gian yeast char­ac­ter. But based on our expe­ri­ence, it is in fact bet­ter than Gold Label, which can, even when blend­ed with draught beer, seems mere­ly boozy and sug­ary.

We’ll be try­ing this again when we find our­selves in pubs with off-the-peg bot­tle ranges and mediocre cask beer.

We can also imag­ine some inter­est­ing super­mar­ket mix­ing oppor­tu­ni­ties – Banks’s Bit­ter + Leffe Blonde might make for an inter­est­ing and cost-effec­tive com­bo, for exam­ple.

Tripel-off, Semi-Final: Karmeliet vs. Lost & Grounded

It’s been on for weeks now, the gaps between games are getting longer, and your favourite was knocked out early so who cares? Yes, it’s another Tripel-Off semi-final.

The end is draw­ing near, though, and we’re cer­tain­ly con­tin­u­ing to enjoy the expe­ri­ence.

In the past when we’ve entered into big mul­ti-part tast­ing projects there have been moments when it’s felt like a chore – “We real­ly ought to drink those three saisons we sus­pect are going to be rub­bish, ugh…” – but not this time.

It’s tripel! We love tripel! And none of those we’ve tast­ed this time have been any­thing less than enjoy­able.

We have to admit that we went into this par­tic­u­lar match with the frank expec­ta­tion that plucky Lost & Ground­ed would get ham­mered by the expe­ri­enced vet­er­an on home turf.

In the group match­es Karmeli­et knocked our socks off and we’ve drunk a cou­ple more in the mean­time, so impressed were we by its char­ac­ter. Seri­ous­ly, how can a British-brewed upstart hope to chal­lenge a Bel­gian orig­i­nal? Well…

This time, both Jess and Ray knew which beers were in play, but Ray poured and pre­sent­ed them with­out the bot­tles just in case there was any chance of keep­ing Jess guess­ing.

The con­trast in appear­ance was pro­nounced: Karmeli­et is lager-yel­low with an absurd­ly vig­or­ous foam, while L&G tends to a faint­ly hazy orange with a decent but less sta­ble head. We wouldn’t nor­mal­ly use an out of focus pic­ture but it’s good enough to give the idea:

Two tripels side by side.

(And hap­pens to mim­ic the effect of drink­ing mul­ti­ple tripels in a ses­sion.)

On tast­ing, though, it became appar­ent that Karmeli­et was not going to walk this.

Jess: Well, to my sur­prise, I imme­di­ate­ly pre­fer the Lost & Ground­ed. It’s rougher but just more enjoy­able. It ben­e­fits from being real­ly cold and I sus­pect will get rougher again as it warms up but, for now, yes, that’s my favourite. Karmeli­et seems quite… insipid? It’s smoother but more bland. It’s not doing it for me.

Ray: That’s a good point about tem­per­a­ture. These are cold­er than some of the beers we’ve tast­ed in ear­li­er rounds. I agree that it’s clos­er than I expect­ed, but I do pre­fer Karmeli­et. The L&G seems a bit home­brew-tripel-by-num­bers, though I’d strug­gle to pin down any faults, as such. Maybe a bit of burnt sug­ar that shouldn’t be there? And, yes, Karmeli­et does seem quite lager-like at this tem­per­a­ture, but I like that it’s less heavy going than L&G.

[A few rounds of knit­ting and sev­er­al pages of Mai­gret lat­er.]

Jess: OK, as these warm up, they’ve switched places. The L&G has def­i­nite­ly become a bit less fun, while the com­plex­i­ty we noticed in Karmeli­et is re-emerg­ing.

Ray: Agreed. So the win­ner is…?

Jess: Karmeli­et, but Lost & Ground­ed stood up to it bloody well. It’s a very cred­i­ble tripel. Tell you what, though – I reck­on De Dolle would stamp all over both of these.

Ray: Oh, don’t say that! That means the last round was effec­tive­ly the final.

Jess: I’m lob­by­ing for a third-place play-off.

Ray: Hmm. Maybe.

So, that’s that: the final prop­er is Karmeli­et vs. West­malle, which we’ll try to sched­ule for the next week or so. In the mean­time, if you’ve had chance to try any of these beers side by side, we’d be inter­est­ed to hear your views.

The Search for Grown-Up Soft Drinks: Cocktail Bitters

Not being cocktail drinkers, and neither of us having grown up in cocktail drinking households, we had never tasted Angostura bitters until a couple of months ago.

We’d heard the name, and seen the rum­pled paper pack­ag­ing on the back shelf in pubs and bars, but didn’t real­ly under­stand what bit­ters are.

Then, as we exper­i­ment­ed with ‘mock­tails’, we came across a few recipes online that sug­gest­ed using bit­ters to add com­plex­i­ty to alco­hol-free drinks.

Angostura bitters label.

We were a lit­tle scep­ti­cal – how much dif­fer­ence can a few drops of this stuff pos­si­bly make? – but, no, these cock­tail types know what they’re talk­ing about.

Five drops in just a glass of water gives it a mys­te­ri­ous, spicy, med­i­c­i­nal depth, and it mag­i­cal­ly ‘grownupi­fies’ any soft drink. They’re some­times described as the salt and pep­per of cock­tails which is a good anal­o­gy.

Of course that start­ed us think­ing.… What if we added bit­ters to beer?

We’re not the first to have this idea, obvi­ous­ly, and John Verive’s 2016 notes at Paste Mag­a­zine are inter­est­ing:

I thought the grape­fruit bit­ters-spiked IPA would sat­is­fy a grape­fruit IPA drinker dis­mayed at only hav­ing ‘reg­u­lar’ IPAs to choose from… but it was in the Amer­i­can light lager that the bit­ters showed true promise… Adding pun­gent bit­ters to the fizzy, insipid light lagers com­plete­ly changes the drink­ing expe­ri­ence. The scent of cit­rus oils over­pow­ers the lager’s faint aro­ma of apple skins, and the addi­tion­al bit­ter­ness bal­ances out the brew’s fin­ish. Sub­tle botan­i­cal fla­vors add com­plex­i­ty to the one-dimen­sion­al beer, and the grape­fruit bit­ters specif­i­cal­ly give the impres­sion of clas­sic Amer­i­can hop vari­eties.

We had a spare can of Cam­den Hells and so decid­ed to try spik­ing it with Angos­tu­ra.

A quick shake – four or five drops – revealed one imme­di­ate prob­lem: the bit­ters sat in the foam, turn­ing it orange-pink, but didn’t make it through to the body of the beer. A quick stir with a spoon (not ide­al with beer) solved this prob­lem.

The aro­ma was intense, more so than in oth­er drinks, adding a fruity, cin­na­mon note.

It tast­ed… Weird. Pla­s­ticky, fake, chem­i­cal. As things went on, though, it became mor­eish, empha­sis­ing the beer’s bit­ter­ness and giv­ing it a Christ­mas char­ac­ter. We reck­on it would have worked bet­ter with a dark­er, rich­er beer rather than stan­dard lager; we’d also rein in it a bit – one or two drops, bare­ly detectable, would prob­a­bly be about right.

Grapefruit and Hops bitters.

It was cer­tain­ly inter­est­ing enough to make us think that we ought to get some grape­fruit and/or hop bit­ters. We’ll let you know how that goes.

Tripel-off, Semi-Final Game 1: Westmalle vs. De Dolle

We’re now into the semi-finals of our Tripel-off. First up: De Dolle Dulle Teve vs. Westmalle Tripel, the reining world champ.

You might recall that this wasn’t the orig­i­nal match-up but Ray had a cun­ning plan to keep the tast­ing just a tiny lit­tle bit on the blind side for Jess.

  • He changed the line-ups with­out telling her.
  • He put Dulle Teve in a West­malle brand­ed glass, and West­malle in a more gener­ic Bel­gian ves­sel.

Two beer bottles side by side.

Both had huge, gor­geous, bil­low­ing white heads of foam. Both looked about the same colour, with Dulle Teve per­haps just a touch dark­er, more orange than yel­low.

Our first sips were of Dulle Teve.

Jess: Oh, wow.

Ray: Same.

Jess: That’s just a love­ly beer, but… Hmm… Have you put some­thing oth­er than in the West­malle glass? Are you play­ing mindgames?

Ray: Yes, bust­ed. That didn’t take you long to work out. It is great, though. It’s love­ly. I would describe my reac­tion as swoon­ing.

Jess: [West­malle] has a much bet­ter aro­ma, though. Fresh and flow­ery. This one [Dulle Teve] smells fruity but much more restrained.

Ray: [West­malle] is more ele­gant and lighter bod­ied. A classier beer. But.. Is there a sort of savouri­ness at the end?

Jess: I’m detect­ing a burn. Too much of a burn. It seems very boozy.

Ray: [Dulle Teve] seems almost trop­i­cal­ly fruity. Again, great. Such wow fac­tor.

Jess: Fun­ny thing is, the more I drink, the bet­ter the first one [West­malle] tastes. It reminds me of Duv­el. Boozy, but also very drink­able. I think… I think I pre­fer it, on bal­ance, but only just.

Drink­ing these two beers togeth­er was real­ly inter­est­ing as each did strange things to our per­cep­tion of the oth­er (com­pare with our first-round tast­ing notes here and here) and both seemed to morph fur­ther into dif­fer­ent beers in the time it took to drink them. If beer-and-beer pair­ing was a thing, this is a com­bo we’d rec­om­mend.

Decid­ing a win­ner real­ly was dif­fi­cult. In the end, though, we both agreed that by the nar­row­est of mar­gins West­malle had the edge.

That means, much as we expect­ed from the start, it will be in the final, fac­ing off against either Lost & Ground­ed or Karmeli­et.

We’d like to thank Patre­on sup­port­ers like Dar­ryl Cham­ber­lain and Bryan Rob­son whose sup­port paid for the beer and access to the nice font in the head­er image.