We’ve got mates who claim not to care about beer — who swear blind that they really have no interest whatsoever in what they’re drinking, as long as it gets them tipsy.
“Great,” we are fooled into saying, “then let’s go to this pub where they have interesting beer.”
They look anxiously up and down the bar. “I don’t recognise any of these and I don’t like bitter. Is there a normal lager?”
“Try this one.”
“It’s a bit strong.”
“Okay, well… what about this one?”
“Mmm. I don’t care, I’m not fussed about beer, really. Just choose me something.”
Then, for the next half and hour, they eye the glass in front of them as if it’s got a turd floating in it.
When it’s time for the second round, you ask what they want. “I don’t mind. Not that one again, though.”
At the end of the night, only half-joking, they say: “Next time, can we go to a normal pub?”
There’s nothing wrong with liking what you like, but don’t kid yourself that we’re the fussy ones.
- The smoking ban is the thin end of the wedge: they’ll ban beer, hamburgers and sex next, now the foot is in the door.
- Craft beer bars are the thin end of the wedge: soon, we’ll all either be drinking tinnies at home or paying £12 a pint for kegged IPA in chrome-plated palaces.
- Liking the occasional Brewdog beer is the thin end of the wedge: if you admit to that, you’re buying wholesale into their awful marketing gimmicks and supporting their diabolical plans for world domination.
- Acknowledging that some keg beer can be pretty good is the thin end of the wedge: it can only lead to the total disappearance of cask ale from the UK.
- Suggesting that one beer is better than the other is the thin end of the wedge: the next step is riding around in limos swigging from diamond-encrusted bottles of US IPA, whipping peasants and laughing at them as they drink their foul swill.
- Going outside is the thin end of the wedge: it can only lead to getting mugged or murdered. Best stay indoors.
We’re not at all convinced there is a wedge and we don’t want to waste our time fretting at every change or development.
Why don’t we just see how things play out and, while we’re employing cliches, cross some of those bridges when we come to them?