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The above chart is inspired by various conversations with and emails from public relations and marketing people in the last few months, many of whom seem to be struggling manfully to sell shite beer. Future version will no doubt be bigger and more complex… suggestions welcome.
Phase one of the new Carling campaign was bad enough. But in phase two, the ad men have reached a new low. Get a load of this from the voiceover:
“Carling know it’s important to check their barley themselves.”
A few questions spring to mind:
- What is “checking” barley?
- Is “checked” barley better than any other? As in, “Yeah, I checked the barley — it’s absolutely awful, but we got it cheap.”
- They know it’s important, but does that even mean they do it? Whatever it is.
So, here’s our proposed slogan for phase three:
“Carling know that beer is supposed to taste nice.”
Meantime seem to have convinced pubs all over London to take what we’re assuming is a kegged London Pale Ale. Its green badge has been appearing on big tacky chrome fonts all over the city in the last few weeks, following a successful launch as a bottled beer in some supermarkets earlier this year.
We’ve always been fans of Meantime’s range and haven’t even minded that they don’t, on the whole, bother with cask conditioning at their pub in Greenwich, because their beer simply tastes so nice. But this keg product breaking out into the wild could be a problem: people who run trendy bars and gastropubs are likely to give up on cask ale altogether if they’ve got a decent-tasting, nicely marketed keg alternative.
Then again, have we perhaps moved to a point where the method of dispense, all though a good rule of thumb when it comes to quality, isn’t the be all and end all? There are some very boring cask conditioned ales that, although ideologically sound, taste much worse than some of Meantime’s kegged products.
Is it kegged as we’re assuming? Has anyone tried it? Is it the same beer that’s sold at the Union as Pale Ale, latterly known as “Late Hopped Blonde’? If you have any information, the Kilroy production team would like to hear from you.